So I have been away for a while, much longer than I realized. Well, I have a good reason, and this post will explain it all.
I thought long and hard before posting this article. By saying what I want to say, I will almost certainly end up hurting someone’s feelings. It is also not clearly related to the primary topic of this blog. The question then becomes, is it worth it?
Well, after thinking long and hard, I still wasn’t really sure. I absolutely hate to hurt anyone’s feelings if at all possible.
However, that person took a course of action which made the decision much easier for me, and removed any feeling of guilt about posting this story. In fact, I may even have to share this information with the police. Even so, I have taken steps to preserve anonymity.
I receive an email from a fan
About a week ago, I received an email that was sent via the contact page on this website. The sender was evidently a fan of my writing, and had found my website via a forum that I participate in occasionally. I was rather flattered by what she had to say, and because I had seen her posting in the forum for years, I didn’t hesitate when she asked if she could add me to Facebook.
I forget the exact sequence of events but at some point I also gave her my phone number, and we did talk on the phone once for a few minutes about our mutual interests. I considered it harmless, just as I considered it harmless when she invited me to a couple of functions, invitations I declined due to prior engagements.
But as it happened this person and I ended up attending the same industry function, and I thought that since I had declined her previous invitations, it would be a nice gesture to call her and see if she wanted to get together. I considered it an opportunity to network and perhaps make a new, like-minded, friend. What I didn’t know is that her intentions were somewhat beyond that, and so I proceeded to arrange to meet her for coffee.
When I met her in the coffee shop, I immediately detected the strong vibe that she considered this a date, and I became increasingly uncomfortable, and rapidly. The situation was not helped by the fact that I was completely unable to make conversation with her, every time I would say something, instead of jumping in with her own thoughts, she would just smile and nod, or say “mmm hmm”, and leave me scrambling to think of something else to say. It was a tremendously awkward situation for me, and my mind began racing for an excuse to leave.
Coming up with nothing, I said something about having to meet some friends, and then as politely as I could, I told her it had been nice to meet her, wished her a good afternoon, and excused myself.
I did feel a little bad about it, but in the end, I didn’t really have a choice, staying would have only lead her on.
I really thought that would be the end of it, but when I got home I discovered a message on Facebook. In brief, she stated that she was confused about why I left the meeting. I decided that honestly would be the best policy, and told her the truth. I replied that it simply hadn’t been working, the conversation wasn’t flowing, and that I had felt a bit uncomfortable. I apologized, and told her I hadn’t meant to be rude. Again, I thought this would be the end of it.
But it wasn’t.
That night, at around midnight, I received a phone call from her. Actually I didn’t know it was her because she had blocked her number. Because I had an early morning ahead of me, I did not pick up the message.
In the morning however, when I did listen, I was treated to a five-minute long rant, which, to say the least, left me very unsettled. In the early part of that afternoon I received several more phone calls from her, with no messages. Some of the phone call came from blocked phone number.
When I returned home from work I immediately removed and blocked this person from Facebook. Upon doing so, I almost immediately received another phone call, and this time another five-minute rant was left on my voicemail. This time the content had moved beyond simply being strange and unsettling, to being quite disturbing.